Craigslist is always a treasure trove for the odd and unusual, today, this post takes the cake:

Help With Drunk Chicken / Won’t Lay

I am a busy Artist with a studio in Lake Worth. A chicken I abducted from key West has recently stopped laying, and eggs are essential to my work. IN SHORT, I need a chicken whisperer. It has also taken to drinking large quantities of stale beer from miller lite can’s torn apart in my frustration, that now litter my back yard. In replying to this add, please use the utmost discretion, as I believe I am in violation of several city ordinances. You can not possibly be detected in your assistance with the issue as my coop is well concealed, surpassed only by, possibly, some old Kentucky boys weed patch. The coop itself only materializes Three to four times monthy, as it is, a left over product of a quantum physics experiment from a bygone era, the future, and present. In your quest for me be aware I drink at Igots, eat at Daves, Brogues and Rum Shack. I have longish red hair, goatee and am quite approachable, except by law enforcement.